I’m really dreading the day I turn 18 cause I will no longer be the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen
If I were a blood-bender I’d give raging erections to people I hate in public
- me: this is worse than that time I watched family guy
- *camera cuts to me watching family guy*
- me: this sucks
I was just thinking how cool it would be to turn my two couches into some kind of mega comfy living room nest and then I remembered I live alone and there is literally nothing that can stop me from doing this.
In which Jimmy Fallon nails it.
THE PRESIDENT OF FRANCE WANTS TO BAN HOMEWORK
well this is it
bonjour my petite crossaints
patio isn’t french
I NEED TO HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW LIKE RIGHT NOW WHY IS NOBODY HAVING SEX WITH ME
*hands u a bible*
MY URL IS LITERALLY CUTEJEWISHGIRL TRY AGAIN
*hands u a dreidel*
Repeat after me: I am a goddess. My spirit is towering, my soul is mighty, my breasts are magnificent and my shoes are super fucking cute.